The “Too Much” Myth

I can’t count how many times I’ve heard the phrase, “You’re too much.”

Too loud.
Too opinionated.
Too emotional.
Too passionate.

One ex even told me flat-out, “You just feel too much.” I remember thinking, “Well, what would you like me to do? Turn down the volume knob on my soul?”

For a long time, I treated it like a problem I needed to fix. Like there was some official handbook for how to be the right-sized human: not too much, not too little, just palatable enough to fit nicely into everyone else’s comfort zones.

So I tried. I ordered the mild salsa when I really wanted the one labeled “may cause hallucinations.” I softened my laugh so I didn’t stick out in a quiet room. I started swallowing my opinions because God forbid someone thinks I’m “too intense.”

And you know what? People around me were more comfortable. But me? I was miserable. Because I wasn’t made to be small. And neither were you.

Here’s the truth nobody tells you: when someone says “you’re too much,” what they usually mean is “you’re reminding me of the fire I buried in myself.” It’s not that your spark is offensive... it’s that your spark makes them realize how dim they’ve let their own light become.

God didn’t put a spark in us just to have us hide it like a candle shoved in the back of a closet. That fire in you isn’t extra. It isn’t a flaw. It’s the point.

The real joke is that the whole time I was trying to shrink myself, I thought I was doing everyone else a favor. But what people actually needed from me wasn’t a watered-down version - they needed the real thing. Because authenticity isn’t about volume. It’s about honesty. And honesty activates people.

So here’s where I landed: the next time someone says you’re too much, take it as a compliment. Say, “Thanks. I worked hard on it.” Smile big. Laugh loud. Order the spicy salsa. Because you weren’t born to be palatable, you were born to be powerful.

And the spark of God in you? It doesn’t apologize for taking up space. Neither should you.